The Illustrated Guide to Terrorism
Chapter 1: What Is Terrorism?
Page 14: Roman rule of Judea
NARRATOR
Archelaus took over in 4 A.D. But he was such a royal asshole that the people of Judea BEGGED Caesar Augustus to get rid of him. So, in 6 A.D., Augustus exiled him to tranquil Vienne in France…
Tranquil seaside village of Vienne, with its amphitheater visible on a far hillside.
ARCHELAUS
Ahh… lovely.
NARRATOR
…and put Judea under DIRECT Roman rule.
Walled city of Jerusalem.
VOICES
AHH!!
Foreign rule again!
Calm down, we asked them to rule us. (They’re doing us a mitzvah, really)
NARRATOR
Under a series of prefects like Pontius Pilate, Judea enjoyed a generation of relative peace and prosperity. In 41 A.D., the emperor Claudius even let Judea have a Jewish king. But when that king died three years later, Rome took over again. In the meantime, however, Judea had begun to suffer from drought, famine, and rising crime.
In 48 A.D., a nasty civil war broke out between the Jews and the Samaritans. Rome overreacted.
Blood splat sound effects CRUNCH BLEED
When that war ended in 52 A.D., Rome declared an oppressive war on crime, executing anyone even SUSPECTED of aiding bandits.
Blood splat sound effects CRUNCH BLEED
While all this had been going on, more and more people had been leaving the countryside, and cramming into the cities.
Throngs of people in Jerusalem market street
WOMAN
Kicked out, you mean. The wealthy priests and landlords keep trying to get more wealth, which means snatching someone else’s land.
The rich are getting richer, faster.
MAN
City life sucks.
I miss the traditions and sense of community we had in our villages.
Frustrated scholar grabbing his turban, angry scribe glowering at us
SCHOLAR
ENOUGH!
SCRIBE
Our traditional faith!
…our whole way of life!
…are in danger of becoming irrelevant in modern society.
Various ticked-off men of Jerusalem
VARIOUS
All this foreign rule is polluting our ancient culture.
One nation under God!
Government of the Jews, by the Jews, for the Jews!
We are the chosen people, not these Romans!
Governed by Rome? Paying taxes to Rome? It’s as if we’re slaves in our own country!
No master by Yahweh!
Sicarii putting on their masks and daggers.
NARRATOR
Some felt a sense of INEVITABILITY.
SICARIUS 1
God’s gonna make everything all right…
…right now!
It’s finally time for those assholes at the top to get their comeuppance!
SICARIUS 2
Forget all those messiah-wanna-be’s from fifty years ago.
The new millennium starts now!
The city of Jerusalem, looking big and strong.
NARRATOR
Which brings us back to 54 A.D.
VOICES
It’s the high priest Jonathan!
Someone’s killed the old high priest!
Who did it?
Where did he go?
WHY?